I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
