2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
