There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have feelings that need drinking.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
