Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
