I think im going to throw up on grandma
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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