i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
