Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
