Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
