Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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