I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
