Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
