Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
