he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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