i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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