im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize