There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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