so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
