chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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