what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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