Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize