i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Did I show you my penis last night?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
