It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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