I love black thongs
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
