just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
