ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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