anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
