some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
