I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You can't just leave with hair like that
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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