I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize