she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
These tits shall not be calmed
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
