He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize