I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
