I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
