Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
