I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
