Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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