So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
