I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im six kinds of drunk right now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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