i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
