Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
