it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
