why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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