Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
