i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize