I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
