some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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