PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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