Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm bleeding and have questions
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