oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize