we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
