im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
