Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
someone owes me an orgasm
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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