Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
