They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
