grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
