He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
